My First All Time Web Video

This is my first webcam video ever so prepare yourself

Also, please be gentle with your comments as I have a delicate psyche. Thank you. Oh for those of you who are asking the question "has she lost her mind" the answer is yes.

sparks The Who performed by Who's Next

I miss my friends from Who's Next, I miss road trips, ginger ale
and crackers, sound checks, watching the show through my lens
(is there any other way?) my brother Billy, yes, and even cheap
smelly hotel rooms. Those were some of the best times ever.
I'm working on it guys, I'm coming back even if I have to strap
a camera to my body.
Love you guys, miss you guys
Deb

"Ode to Thee" Music Video and Fine Art Photography

Chris Cauble has a great eye, and this is a video of his work. I'd like

to think if I was blessed to be in the same places, I'd take similar

photos. I'd like to believe my "eye" is a bit like his too. Amazing.

Due Date Movie Trailer 2 Official (HD)

My other half, Steve saw this trailer on TV and was hysterical laughing. Always needing a good laugh, I spent at least 1/2 hour on the web to find this trailer (which is the old official trailer - there is a new official trailer) I watched - it was funny, but not funny enough to cause that reaction in Steve, which happ...ens rarely. Not ready to give up and suggest Steve go to therapy more often, I watched it a second time. It was freakin hysterical. My apologies to Steve. Please watch the You Tube trailer at least TWICE. Hopefully, you'll be looking forward to seeing this movie as we are.

Due Date Movie Trailer 2 Official (HD)

www.youtube.com

http://Twitter.com/ClevverMovies - Follow Us! Due Date hits theaters on November 5th, 2010. Cast: Zach Galifianakis, Robert Downey Jr., Michelle Monaghan, Juliette Lewis, Jamie Foxx, RZA, Alan Arkin, Matt Walsh Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) is an expectant first-time father whose wife's...

The storm of September 2010

TOTATO (AKA TORNADO)

09-16-10

My daughter, Cassie used to call them "Totatoes". She was terrified one would come here. I would tell her "there are never tornados in Queens".

When I took her to Orlando, we had so much fun at Universal that we spent two days there. They had a movie “experience” (which meant you stood still and felt like you were almost on the set of the movie.)  The movie, of course, was “Twister”. It wasn’t the contortionist game on a plastic mat, but the movie about “TOTATOS”.

Not wanting to appear scared, and wanting me to see it (she was so sweet), she came into the building with a throng of sweaty, sunburned vacationers, and began the shuffle towards the doors that would lead us to “the experience”. I knew she was nervous, but they had screens high up on the walls, showing scenes from the movie, and every time those doors opened you could hear a building being destroyed, or a cow flying.

After 15 minutes she became hysterical. I had to find an employee to let us out the emergency door.  However, Cassie was (and is) very brave, and pissed at herself for causing a scene. She insisted that since we were going back the following day, she was going to go through those doors no matter what. She was a scared, anxious; a little mess, but she made it. She jumped into my arms, and I held her through the entire “experience”. She heard it, but she couldn’t bring herself to see it. She spent the entire time with her head buried in my sleeve.

A few years later, it was my turn to be scared.  We had a wicked storm like the one we had today. A big old tree with rotten roots fell on our house, scraped right down the front of it. It sounded like the world was ending. I remember closing my eyes, putting my hands over my ears. I was sure that when I opened my eyes, the front wall, which was 3 feet away from me, would be ripped off, along with the rest of the front of the house. When it was over, I opened my eyes and the front of the house was still there.

The old tree pushed in the front door. There were tree limbs four steps up. You could not get out the door. Lucky we had another exit, because that tree was going nowhere. Cassie was in the bathroom with her father, who was visiting. She was scared, but she let him put her on the tree to take a picture.

She gave me dirty looks for days. It was good that she did not know that another old tree had fallen on a car around the corner, and it killed this elderly couple. Sad.

She's 18 now, and when the tornado warnings were blaring on the TV today, it was like she was a little girl again. She was excited but scared, white as a sheet, and I could have sworn she gave me that same dirty look.

Well, it was a wicked storm on 9/16/2010 around 6:00pm, but there were no “totatoes”, and no tree broke into our house.

Instead, at 11:30PM, the cable TV went out – almost 6 hours later. When I called, the representative told me that 90% of Queens, Brooklyn, and Staten Island had no service, and their technicians “were working on it”.

Shit, that was a new one.



I believe she was around this age at the height of

the "totato" scare...



Trying to get more eggs in a basket...

I've been overloaded:

I'm sick

Computers are overloaded with email names, accounts, passwords, blogs

I'm just trying to simplify

I've got to get this paper and computer stuff organized, so I can have a life.  Oh, and get well too (as much as I can anyway under the circumstances.) 

Anyway, Microsoft Blogwriting software claims they can do one of those things for me...

Let's see what happens...

 

 

Here's a pic for the heck of it, as I saw this horse and started looking around the web for info.  The Mangalarga Marchador Horse Association of America is the only breed association to insist up the humane treatment of its horses. It is also the National Horse of Brazil. "Marchador horses are know for the calm, gentle nature and are easy to train.  Harshness is not needed and less-than-humane treatment, as specified by the Hooved Animal Humane Society, is unacceptable,"  says Tony Orta, vice president of the MMHAA.  "We will not tolerate any cruel treatment in training or showing of the Marchador horses and we sincerely  hope other associations will follow our lead."  The breed has been genetically pure for the last 150 yrs.

Here's another:

 

I will ride again.  I had info on a handicap riding instructor, but I forgot the name of the farm.  I want to go there tomorrow.  I need to see horses.  Pictures and videos still make me cry.  I miss Preston so much, and I haven't dealt with that.  He's been gone 2 yrs, so I'm going to give myself and my broken body and heart a break and see if there is a way an English Dressage Rider can ride with one arm literally tied to her body.  I have to do this - I'm so lost without it - like an addict that has that big hole in their life when they go clean, and they can't find something to fill it.

If I appear daft and I haven't told you the story of my accident, I shall do it another day.  Suffice it to say, I do not have the use of my left arm very much.  My Preston fell on me and ripped my shoulder out of it's socket, doing a number on the brachialplexus - the network of nerves that run from your spine to under your arm, then down your arm.  Nerve damage is pain 24/7, and although I'm on paid meds I can't take enough to make the pain go away, cause then I go away too.

I have a 14yo daughter I need to stay around for.

Hopefully I'll find this farm and find something else to stay around for besides my daughter, and my wonderful partner Steve.  I'm grateful for them, but pain -mental and physical changes you.  I'm not as I once was.  I feel so less capable and sure, and that was something Preston and riding gave me once upon a time...

Please pray for us...

My License Plate-Ode to Quadrophenia & John E,

Q U A D R O P H E N I A
and Tommy - what can you
say? Those two albums, more
than any, saved me in my
dysfunctional years -
seriously - SAVED ME
John Entwistle's bass solo in
Real Me...
There are no words

 

A Quick One - Then I'm Away

I think I've figured out the reason why I'm here blogging. I had heard of the term before, and thought "that's not for me" then I heard my childhood "savior" - no better word, and I'll explain in another post when I have time, is publishing a novella in his blog. He is Pete Townshend. I have been a Who fanatic since I was 9 (in 1969 - it's OK - do the math) when Tommy came out. I listened to it every day at least once. You see, I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and it's a miracle I'm still here. I'm convinced I have 9 lives (again something to go into detail later). So I started to read his blog, and it was such a gift, manna from heaven. When I went to post a comment, they made me go through all this stuff which ended up with ME starting a blog. This was very recently, so I'm still feeling my way around, and I'm all over the place. However, after checking Simon Townshend's web site, which had been down for a year, I still hadn't given up and checked it at least once a week, I saw it was back up, oh - I was so happy. Lo and behold he had a blog as well. Ever since I met Simon he has always been very supportive of my dream to become a photographer, and even allowed me to shoot concerts of his where no one else was allowed to have cameras. When I told him I'd bring some shots the next time I saw him, he said "don't just bring mine, I'd like to see what else you do". What a sweet and gracious man, taking his time to look at my work. I will never forget it, and I still constantly listen to his CD's, each signed by him "to Debby". I'm smiling as I'm typing. Smiling is not a frequent activity for me, unfortunately. Again, that may be why I'm doing this, you see, my life has been extremely difficult over the last year and a half, I've felt very disconnected, and to find some kind of connection again with the best and most memorable part of my life (besides having my daughter) I'm in utopia. I'm the type of person that takes all these things as signs for thought or direction - because it was all too coincidental, and to be honest, I really don't believe in coincidences. Then the third "sign" comes. While I was reading comments on Simon's blog, a name jumped out at me: Gigi NYC. I could never put into words what Gigi means to me. She probably doesn't know it, because I've been so ill and disconnected from all the people in my life she probably thinks I don't care and I have (dumped her). Nothing could be farther from the truth. You see, I am so embarrassed about my situation; I wanted to be in a better place when I spoke/saw her again. I desperately want to tie up some loose ends between us, and I can’t yet. Gigi and I were so close as the moment met, and had so much in common, it was a shame we met much later in life than we should of. I’d like to think we were trying to make up for that. I miss her so much. I just didn't want to dump all my junk on her, when she has so much going on in her life. I didn’t want to become a whining, complaining friend – this hurts, that hurts, this doctor appt., that test, but that what life is about - and I'm going to have to work through it and find some way back to my friend Gigi, if she'll have me. I looked at her blog quickly, and saw that her dog, her beloved Luka died last summer. I cried. I'm one of those animal people, who totally understand what they mean to each other, and recently I have my own stories to tell on those lines, but I just can't face it now. Wow, eighteen months is a long time; a long time to be sick, to be isolated, to endure some of the biggest losses you can have, to not be able to work, to have to fight to keep your child, who is now a teenager and is convinced she knows more than you. Deep breath - and that’s not all of it. I have a feeling it will come gushing out. You know I have a friend who is a screen writer, and he knows a lot about my life. He is after me to write a book. I can't write it non fiction (after all, I haven't grown up to be a serial killer or the first woman president of the USA - so there would be no payoff), so I would write it fiction. Maybe I can "flesh it all out" in this blog, the good parts and bad parts, create characters, and perhaps get some opinions on it. Who knows? G-d may have just discovered that the blog is the vehicle for me, to discover things, to work through them, to recover what I’ve lost. Well I said this would have to be quick, but it's not, and I must go. But as the Governor of Calif. used to say in his movies: " I'll be back". Be well and happy. I'll pray for you, please do the same for me. I'm in desperate need. Debby

Can You See The Real Me? Can Ya? Can Ya?

Spring of 2004
This photo was taken during one of the happiest days of my life
(never mind the circumstances)
I know I'm so happy because
not only is my face smiling, but
my eyes are smiling too!
My prayer is to feel that way
again in my lifetime...
and help someone feel like that too.

 

Hello and Welcome

When I woke this morning, I had no idea I would be signing up and starting my own blog. I wanted to be able to post to another blog, and in signing myself up, found myself on a trip through the "blog creation experience". I'm not complaining, it's obviously something I'm meant to do, because that's my belief system, that everything happens for a reason.
So I guess I need to take a good look at myself, take a look at where I am in my life, and decide what to put in this blog. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, I don't know. I'm a very private person, and because of certain experiences in my life, I'm especially guarded about the info I share. So maybe that's the reason for this coincidence. To teach me to think things through and share what is safe for me, and may be interesting to other people. Well we'll see. Oh boy, it's not like I have nothing else to do (ha ha).
Well, whomever reads this: I wish you a peaceful, productive, low stress day, with happiness for you and the people you care about. Have a nice day.